What the actual f.....?
I'm on the list for surgery! Yesterday, after waiting to be seen for what felt like an eternity, I was ushered in and came face to face with the head of the CI clinic and one of the surgical consultants at Manchester Infirmary. After a smattering of small talk, I was informed that 'we would be happy to offer you a cochlear implant in your left ear.' I was so stunned I didn't speak for a moment. It was absolutely surreal. And then there was a plot twist. I have a malformed cochlea. My cochlea isn't shaped like a seashell spiral in a pea. It's shaped like a 'spaceship,' or as it was charmingly put to me, 'a blob.' The upside of this is at least I have finally learned the cause of deafness after 31 years! The surgical consultant said that I had done extremely well to get to this point considering the biological ineptitude of my inner ear. What does this mean? It means, while the surgeon is happy to operate, and he thinks it will be 'straight-