So... I outperformed the average CI user
Really not a happy bunny any more.
I cannot be bothered to go into great detail with regards to the initial assessment appointment that I had on Monday - here goes.
Appointment started at 3. We discussed:
- My hearing history: how long I've worn HAs, what sort of education I've had and whether I felt that my hearing had deteriorated in recent years.
- I explained that while I don't think my hearing has changed, my environment has and that I am facing challenging situations on a regular basis which are starting to really make me question whether I function effectively.
- She did a hearing test.. y'know, bleep and click the button. Yawn.
She then sat me a metre away from a speaker in front of me, slightly elevated and told me to repeat what I heard, left ear only/right ear only and then both.
Heard very little with only the left, however I did manage to identify that most - if not all of the sentences began with 'the.' The sentences were all at most 6- words long, I don't think I heard any words with more than 2 syllables. For example: 'The bus was early.' 'The girl had some cake.'
With both ears I was fine; the voice was loud and very clear - much louder than the woman's who was assessing me which did not make me feel happy. I could tell from her face that something was not quite right. She stopped the test and basically said that she'd seen/heard enough.
On the basis of my optimal conditions/no background noise speech perception test I am not a candidate for a Cochlear Implant.
Burst into tears.
I scored 87% on this test. I was shocked by how loud the speaker's voice was, the fact that the (very large) speaker was in front of me and also by the ridiculously simple nature of the sentences. I have never felt so patronised in my life, who the hell walks around talking like a child or simpleton? One other example of a sentence used was 'the boy dropped the ball.'
I have been told they'll review me in 12 months time and that since I outperformed their average CI user that they cannot guarantee that a CI will improve upon what I have got.
Just. Urgh. So I asked her why she hadn't tested me with background noise and her response was that because I'd done so well without, she could pretty much predict that I'd do as well if not better than a CI user in noise.
I don't think so.
I explained that my job comes with background noise and that if I cannot function in such an environment that I cannot realistically pursue a career in my chosen field when it causes so many effing problems. I am sick and tired of it.
I was so upset yet she was adamant that I was a high functioning individual - she couldn't explain to my satisfaction why she didn't do a HINT test (hearing in noise test) and I honestly feel cheated.
I said to her that I wasn't happy with my hearing aids and that things are not loud enough, that I am struggling to hear in everyday situations and she still didn't, in all honesty, look that fussed. Just said that she'd book an appointment at the hospital to get everything checked.
Not a happy bunny.
When I was 19, I didn't want to go back to University as I was having a shitty time with some people who were making my life a misery. I explained on the way there while in the car to my parents that I hated being in the Halls environment, that not hearing properly was making me insecure, making me question what I thought I was and not hearing. I said I was starting to feel paranoid and incredibly self conscious, feeling as though I getting things wrong. I was told to stop being a 'deaf martyr.' So I stopped questioning things, stopped accepting that I was deaf and tried to continue hearing in a totally chaotic and noisy world. I can't function effectively, I am not a martyr, I just want to hear.
I cannot be bothered to go into great detail with regards to the initial assessment appointment that I had on Monday - here goes.
Appointment started at 3. We discussed:
- My hearing history: how long I've worn HAs, what sort of education I've had and whether I felt that my hearing had deteriorated in recent years.
- I explained that while I don't think my hearing has changed, my environment has and that I am facing challenging situations on a regular basis which are starting to really make me question whether I function effectively.
- She did a hearing test.. y'know, bleep and click the button. Yawn.
She then sat me a metre away from a speaker in front of me, slightly elevated and told me to repeat what I heard, left ear only/right ear only and then both.
Heard very little with only the left, however I did manage to identify that most - if not all of the sentences began with 'the.' The sentences were all at most 6- words long, I don't think I heard any words with more than 2 syllables. For example: 'The bus was early.' 'The girl had some cake.'
With both ears I was fine; the voice was loud and very clear - much louder than the woman's who was assessing me which did not make me feel happy. I could tell from her face that something was not quite right. She stopped the test and basically said that she'd seen/heard enough.
On the basis of my optimal conditions/no background noise speech perception test I am not a candidate for a Cochlear Implant.
Burst into tears.
I scored 87% on this test. I was shocked by how loud the speaker's voice was, the fact that the (very large) speaker was in front of me and also by the ridiculously simple nature of the sentences. I have never felt so patronised in my life, who the hell walks around talking like a child or simpleton? One other example of a sentence used was 'the boy dropped the ball.'
I have been told they'll review me in 12 months time and that since I outperformed their average CI user that they cannot guarantee that a CI will improve upon what I have got.
Just. Urgh. So I asked her why she hadn't tested me with background noise and her response was that because I'd done so well without, she could pretty much predict that I'd do as well if not better than a CI user in noise.
I don't think so.
I explained that my job comes with background noise and that if I cannot function in such an environment that I cannot realistically pursue a career in my chosen field when it causes so many effing problems. I am sick and tired of it.
I was so upset yet she was adamant that I was a high functioning individual - she couldn't explain to my satisfaction why she didn't do a HINT test (hearing in noise test) and I honestly feel cheated.
I said to her that I wasn't happy with my hearing aids and that things are not loud enough, that I am struggling to hear in everyday situations and she still didn't, in all honesty, look that fussed. Just said that she'd book an appointment at the hospital to get everything checked.
Not a happy bunny.
When I was 19, I didn't want to go back to University as I was having a shitty time with some people who were making my life a misery. I explained on the way there while in the car to my parents that I hated being in the Halls environment, that not hearing properly was making me insecure, making me question what I thought I was and not hearing. I said I was starting to feel paranoid and incredibly self conscious, feeling as though I getting things wrong. I was told to stop being a 'deaf martyr.' So I stopped questioning things, stopped accepting that I was deaf and tried to continue hearing in a totally chaotic and noisy world. I can't function effectively, I am not a martyr, I just want to hear.
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